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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
suaine's InsaneJournal:
I have more thoughts on the gay universe thing, but they haven't really coalesced properly and I maybe want to write a proper-ish essay about it. Just so you know, I won't be talking about the fics that exist in particular, but about the concept and the reasons why some people might want to explore that and some might feel threatened or offended by it. Maybe.- The thing is, I need to sink my teeth into a new story/WiP of mine, but I can't choose right now. A part of me kind of needs some instant gratification right about now. Something short, maybe a little silly, that I can whip up in a day and slap onto a comm to get some much needed fuel... what? I am so not kidding, I run on "you've got mail" notifications. And right now, with two large projects done (and in beta) that won't give me feedback for a month or more, I feel oddly bereft.
Pretty much all of the stories I still have in my WiP folder are longer projects though, none of them in any shape to be posted as a chaptered-release type thing. Argh.
Although I did get a really `cool anon feedback. How self-absorbed and douchey is it to ask for more? - More writingness: I've been thinking about Grave Mental Disease and it's my twisted version of Take Your Fandom to Work. I've noticed that when I write Merlin (the character) I often give him bits and pieces of my own experiences (notably in Grave Mental Disease, The Knife's Edge, and Practice Grounds). It's interesting because Arthur is the one I identify with, so why do all the autobiographical stories end up being Merlin's POV? Maybe because I feel Arthur under my skin, I don't need to put myself under his.
| Friday, July 31st, 2009 | |
| 9:05 pm | Yesterday I did this meme and didn't post it. Choose your genre show, answer the questions using episode titles from that show--if possible, don't repeat any. Ganked from ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} lamardeuse( This probably doesn't make any sense ) Today I'm thinking about Merlin Big Bang (OMG YOU GUYS SOON!) and why there aren't more stories about Gwen (in general, not just in the BB) and why we put so much faith in blood (as in blood relation, blood heritage, that sort of thing). 1. I'm ridiculously excited about Big Bang. My story is so big in my head, and it's so hard for me to find a way to express (for the preview tomorrow) why everyone should read it in 700 words or less. I could write a second story all wrapped around this one, and a third intersecting but never running parallel. Where "An Exercise in Politics" was only a possibility, "Deluge" feels like it's my truth, except it isn't even that big a story. It's a tiny story with such a tight focus on Arthur that it can't possibly be as right and true as it feels to me. Damn, I'll be glad when it's August 5th and I can finally let it go :D 2. Stories about Gwen, Gwen's stories, why aren't there oodles of them? There need to be more. A modern AU in which Gwen's father is a renowned blacksmith with work all over Europe and she takes over the company when he dies. A story in which she rules Camelot. A story about her growing up, the things that made her. The 1001 stories of how she fell in love with Morgana. The first season told through her eyes. 3. I've been endlessly fascinated with our blood myths - everything from secret heirs to magic that works only on the blood-related - ever since I was little. My sibling'cest kink is likely an extension of that. I'm not sure if it's because I've got un-blood family, or because there are no ancestor stories in our family, or perhaps it's simply the city that holds so many hundreds of years of history for me, or the fact that this place, this country, has tried so very, very hard to forget about blood altogether. I look at those stories of long pedigrees and blood heirs and I wonder. ANYWAY, enough emo, let's get cracking on that preview thingy. Current Mood: bouncy |
| Friday, June 26th, 2009 | |
| 8:43 pm | |
| Thursday, June 25th, 2009 | |
| 9:27 am | does writing equal responsibility? I originally wasn't going to say anything about warnings. We have this debate every few years and it's always kind of heated and my position on it is kind of wobbly. Last time I got really upset about it, the warning that was being discussed was "deathfic" or "character death". But things have been said, on and off the flist, and I find myself with a more coalesced opinion about courtesy, spoilers and labels. ( courtesy, spoilers and labels ) Current Mood: drained |
| Sunday, June 21st, 2009 | |
| 5:07 pm | Answer me this: Why, when I have four googledocs open, containing various of my deadline-y projects, and Space AU, am I thinking about playing on kinkme_merlin? |
| 3:06 pm | Happy Merlin day, America! I re-watched Lancelot yesterday and I still don't like him, but there was a moment where I thought, huh, maybe I can stand it if he comes back. It was a short moment. Tonight I'll probably watch Edwin's Camelot Adventure (it ends, as all good things do, with axe inna face). And then there's writing to be done. Space AU has been looking at me with large, sad eyes like it's my fault that I was an emo fuck all last week. |
| Saturday, June 20th, 2009 | |
| 8:49 am | HELP Okay, so, yesterday sucked hard for no particular reason. I played Sam&Max Season Two until I got to the time travel episode and was greatly cheered. Unfortunately by that time the day was over! Alright. Guys. I've had three people from merlin_betas working on the Big Bang for weeks, but none of them have come through. 50k, you know? So now, four days before the deadline, I'm going to beg like a dog. I need, desperately, someone who can go through my Big Bang and do the grammar/phrasing beta. Please. I am not above walking on my knees. There are a few additional scenes I need to put in and something I have to re-write, including the fucking chess thing with Morgana, and I really don't think I can do all this and a proper copyedit for myself. Help? Current Mood: distressed |
| Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 | |
| 3:39 pm | I was going to post about some sexist crap, but I found this instead Why is there not enough gen fic? ( Gen vs. Pairing fic? ) I know this is an old discussion, and maybe there simply aren't better ways to signal to your readers what to expect, but it's worth talking about. When I write Merlin fic, I always, always assume that Merlin loves Arthur - it doesn't have to be sexual, but it is enormous - and it shines through in every last narrative, if I should label it as Merlin/Arthur or not. It's an integral part of how I perceive the character and I wouldn't know how to write him without it. Romance and sex are important parts of being human. Genfic can sometimes appear to be ignorant of that, while pairing fic can appear to over-inflate its importance - and it limits both what we read and what we write about. And that's sad. Current Mood: sick |
| Saturday, June 13th, 2009 | |
| 3:01 pm | Things 1. Thank you all for your lovely, lovely comments in my previous post. You are all incredibly awesome and I love you. 2. I think I saw this the first time when fay_morgenstern and I went to see Star Trek, and I have to admit it looks better on a big screen. ( It's not a trailer, but it's almost as good )3. I got my remix assignment. Oh, don't look at me like that, you guys, fic is the only thing that's keeping me remotely sane. If my remixer reads this, feel free to also remix anything beyond Merlin, even though that's not on the index list. I'm just too lazy to put them all in one place. Anything with my name in it is totally fair game, even if you happen to find some of the Buffy stuff (dear gods, I hope you don't). 4. There is going to be a new Monkey Island. Did I mention that already? Telltale games is making a new Monkey Island! This is awesome. ( trailer ) 5. In reference to a post I made quite a while ago, there is, in fact, a way to hide posts on your flist from users you don't want to read, on communities that you *do* want to read. It's this little gem here: It's paid/permanent users only, I think, but it's a good way to avoid wanting to strangle someone. 6. I have plans to go and get myself a thesis advisor on Monday. Wish me luck. (And beat me with sticks if I chicken out.) |
| Wednesday, June 10th, 2009 | |
| 10:40 am | Urgh of the day And then sometimes I know exactly why they don't let me play on FFrants. A male OP posts about male-rape ("reverse rape" WTF?) and how it's NEVER handled well in fanfic. Then proceeds to call women "females" and thinks it's funny that someone would agree with him using a "feminist rage" icon. Everyone is terribly civil and accommodating toward our special little male snowflake. Does nobody else want to kick him in the nuts? Just me then? All his clarifications and follow-up comments just make me more angry. *is glad of having no posting access to ffrants* There was another rant that made me want to slap someone. It was about make-up. Men do not wear it, it said. The statement causes some wank, although the OP did qualify it further down - but I challenge the basic assumption that it's the "Ladies" fault for not having a clue. Make-up is not metrosexuality, and in fact, make-up is not just eye-liner and sparkles. Make-up makes every damn TV character look that extra bit unreal, everyone wears it on TV from House to Arthur. Make-up has two functions, one is to underline and exaggerate certain features (this is your basic eye-liner/mascara/rouge/lipstick/etc.) and the other is to conceal blemishes (foundation/powders/etc.). One is not like the other, and a lot of people are using the latter, even "manly man" types. Both of those are examples of having a point and being an asshole about it. Shit, I agreed with the points they were inexpertly trying to make and I still felt I should tell them all the ways they are wrong. --- Changing the subject to something shinier, I've got almost 6k on the first chapter of SPACE AU, and fay_morgenstern makes me think it should be structured like a TV series. I'm honestly not sure I'm good enough a writer to try it, but I really really want to. I also really wish I was good enough an artist/vidder to make a trailer or opening credits or something. SPACE AU! Current Mood: annoyed |
| Sunday, June 7th, 2009 | |
| 5:34 pm | gealach_ros has posted amazing new pictures from the Merlin set. All I keep thinking is - damn, those are gorgeous horses. |
| Friday, June 5th, 2009 | |
| 9:14 pm | Meme timez I got this one from franticsga:5 questions. 5 chances. 5 honest answers. You get to ask me 5 questions - any 5 questions. I promise to answer them truthfully. Anything. Fandom related, real life stuff (though I reserve identifying information), kinks, peeves, writing, anything you want to know. Current Mood: curious |
| 12:02 am | He will use the shield in the final. It's the only way he can beat you. - you would not believe the amount of Merlin I have on the brain - everything I do, I have a little voice in my head going "oh Arthur! For the love of Camelot! Merlin yay!" - yes, it's that bad. I rewatched Valiant and Gates of Avalon today, and one thing is perfectly clear: Merlin is in love with Arthur. Maybe he thinks it's platonic, and maybe he thinks it's just destiny, but he loves Arthur *so much*. - I watched Knockaround Guys last night. I still love that movie with a deep, abiding passion. I've also been looking at Grazed again. Maybe there is some fic-finishing in my future. - also, stuff. And with stuff, I mean Merlin :D - I think Uther actually likes Merlin. He seems more amused than annoyed by him half the time. Interestingly enough, I don't believe that that would stop him executing Merlin when it comes to magic. Current Mood: bouncy |
| Monday, June 1st, 2009 | |
| 6:36 pm | Fanfic authors, like George R. R. Martin, are not your bitch. I need to tattoo that on my hand or somewhere I won't forget it. It's not fair! People should be writing the things I like! She says, and remembers about the Buffy story, the HP stories, the Knockaround Guys story ... er, yeah. You guys, if I ever talk to you about how it's so unfair for awesome people to sign up for something and then dropping out, please, for the love of porn, hit me hard. I deserve it. They are not my bitches. Although, come to think of it, is anyone willing to offer accommodations for a kidnapping spree? *crickets* Oh, well. To be honest, I'm not feeling very yayful right now. I'm in a terrible funk, have been for the last couple of days, and it's hard to even scrape up the energy required to type stuff. I'm kind of wallowing ridiculously, and I noticed that I haven't answered many comments. I, uh, read them all, but I'm not all there in the brain department. Also, prone to bursts of tears unrelated to anything. That's been the last couple of days for me. I've despaired over ![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} fanficrants not wanting my ass, the fact that Merlin fandom doesn't churn out fic at my command, or, you know, people being people. Also, I can't stand meatspace interaction right now. I've snapped at everyone today and the only thing keeping them from being pissed at me is that I'm so over the top they can pretty much tell there's something wrong with me.THE PAIN DOESN'T HELP- Fuck. Fuck this shit. I'm too fucked up to have a minor breakdown for a week every month. Got suggestions? Current Mood: moody |
| Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 | |
| 9:46 pm | Stuff I was going to be all Ranty McRantyPants, but I wrote the rant in Semagic and then I didn't really want to post it anymore. Oh well, it had to do with pairings banners and casual homophobia and it was all very YMMV. Anyway! ![[info] - livejournal.com](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif) thelittlebang is looking for artists HERE because the influx of finished stories was bigger than they expected. Check it out if you're a vidder or artist and have any affinity at all for femmeslash. Maybe one of the fandoms that's in dire need sparks your interest. (Criminal Minds/West Wing xover, Fastlane/Fast&Furious xover, Skins, Smallville, and more!) |
| 12:37 pm | I wrote a little flashfic to get this persistent angsty image out of my head. Read it here. It's Merlin and Arthur and the balance of the world. |
| Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 | |
| 5:54 pm | How appropriate. You fight like a cow. You guys, what happened to today? Why is it almost over? Did a secret ninja twin steal my time? Okay, so I did play Monkey Island for a couple of hours. I kinda ship Elaine/Carla now, huh. Kick-ass swordmaster and awesome governor, ILU. Also, Guybrush Threepwood is still one of my favorite characters in the history of everything. There is nothing like being a guy whose only true talent is holding his breath for ten minutes and stumbling through an epic plot on sheer tenacity and good intentions. <3 He's kind of like Arthur and Merlin's love child, in pantaloons. Unrelated, does anyone still watch Ugly Betty? I've found this season to be kind of painful. What happened to Alexis. The Suzuki St. Pierre storyline. Marc's sex-life. The way the Randy arc just ended (can I even call it an arc, with two episodes?) and the lack of story-lines for Justin. I feel like they've dangled a happily quirky non-normative world in front of me, only to take it away again. (while I thought the kid stuff in season 3 was sweet and weird and charmingly soapy, the kid stuff in season 4 just felt contrived and more about breeding than about character development) I do like some things though, so I keep watching, hoping, and blacking out the things that drive me batshit. So, why does ![[info] - community](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small} fanficrants not want me? I feel the more involved I am in a fandom, the more I need a platform to rant. I don't really want to bother all you beautiful people with stuff like how there is a fic that I really wish had a good beta who beat the author 'round the head with it. It's bad. I think it's objectively bad, not just "oh I don't like this trope" bad. (Alcoholic, emotionally dead Arthur makes me :(( and the rest of the characters aren't much better off, and some half or so of the sentences make no sense. Also, the world-building is crap.) <-- see, no one but people who signed up for this should be subjected to my elitist issues. Current Mood: frustrated |
| Sunday, May 24th, 2009 | |
| 10:08 am | Ben Folds' The Luckiest - Merlin's reincarnation theme song? Discuss. Current Mood: silly Current Music: Ben Folds - The Luckiest |
| Saturday, May 23rd, 2009 | |
| 2:43 pm | I' thinking that I want to post the Space AU as a chaptered-release (aka WiP) story. That way I can just enjoy the ride and not worry over-much about the feasibility of the project. (Obviously, Merlin and Arthur in SPACE is far more self-indulgent than many other stories I might write) I'm vague on the plot just now, I think the first chapter will just be world-building and character introduction. Yay space ships! Current Mood: geeky |
| Thursday, May 21st, 2009 | |
| 9:07 pm | Meme timez RULES: Comment and I'll LJ stalk you to find THREE FANDOMS you apparently love. And then you answer these questions about them! 01: What got you into this fandom in the first place? 02: Do you think you'll stay in this fandom or eventually move on? 03: Favorite episodes/books/movies/etc.? 04: Do you participate in this fandom (fanfiction, graphics, discussions)? 05: Do you think that more people should get into this fandom? I got the following fandoms from almostinstinct: Merlin, X-Files, Doctor Who( Merlin ) ( X-Files ) ( Doctor Who ) Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Stephen Lynch - Superhero |
| 1:59 pm | |